Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Dad... You Have No Idea What I'm Capable Of.

Heroes: Shades of Gray
Season 3, Episode 19

It's like they aren't even listening to me! I mean no sooner do I give one episode a relative pass with a gift D+ grade by ignoring virtually every sensory input for an hour last week, then they drop another turd in my lap this week. It seems the biggest gift I can hope for is the season ending during the next episode in a couple weeks. I'm not entirely sure if there are more episodes after that one. And you know what, when I consider your show taking a week off or possibly being done for the year a gift... not good times.

We'll get into it more beneath the cut, but its really all a reiteration of my same old complaints. This show has devolved from characters having adventures to adventures with characters in them.

The main story this week is the return to the Good Guy Side (G.G.S.) of Nathan. After using some of those mad political skills we've heard of but never seen, Nathan gets Danko kicked off of the team. Which is probably a good move on President Worf's part. I mean maybe setting an utter homicidal psychopath on American citizens probably wasn't the most efficient way to deal with the problem. Danko's response to this is utterly understandable. I mean if I lost my job and noticed that the boss could get across town quickly... who wouldn't shoot at said boss and chuck him out a window. Just another example of the writers on the show knowing something, so of course any character can figure it out with nothing but the most circumstantial evidence. I mean, its a good thing Nathan's power wasn't to run fast... because if he was a splatter on the pavement... well congressional oversight might have a problem with that.

And of course, in a never-ending attempt to keep all the heroes good guys, Nathan flops back into Camp Hero and runs off to save Claire. I would describe this as painfully redundant if the words painfully predictable didn't better apply. Even in this volume's first episode when I mentioned that Nathan should stand by this program for consistency if nothing else, I was counting the moments until he rebelled for the greater good. Yes, that's the same greater good he started this all for in the first place.

Maybe it isn't utterly unbelievable - Danko being willing to chuck a United States senator out a window on camera with nothing more than a suspicion that he's got some power. I mean we've never seen Nathan at his office or a session of congress in two seasons now, so perhaps nobody in the government would even notice if he's dead.

Over in Claire-land, our least favorite former cheerleader (who maybe it's me but has also gotten like 13.5% less attractive every year) gets a nice lesson from comic book geeks about what kind of hero she wants to be. And if I may beg now, can we stop with the pointless scenes in comic book shops with the geeks responsible for significant plot and character development? It was painful enough the first time. Why not just have Tim Kring starring as Tim Kring walk up to Claire in a park and tell her what to do/say/think next?

And her rescue of Doyle (Puppet Guy that nearly killed her, her birth mother and her adopted mother less than a year ago) is completely impossible... even discounting the idea that she'd consider helping the murdering psycho that eyeballed her and Meredith like he would have raped them if this show was on HBO. First of all apparently Danko's teams have gone from a dozen guys in full body armor tranquilizing their targets before moving in to one chick coming up behind you and yelling freeze. Of course, this person you are chasing can control your every movement, so maybe that wasn't the best approach. The only reason their procedures devolved seems to be to allow Claire to sneak up behind the other agent and chuck him over a railing. Wow, it's a good this he didn't just shoot her after that big two-foot fall. And when did Claire take krav maga classes to learn how to take out government agents? And why is Rebel sending these people to Claire for a day or two until Rebel provides new documentation for them? Why can't he/she/the writer's cheating device not just tell the poor people on the run, "Hey, I checked you into the local Holiday Inn. Go chill there until you get my package in about six hours. Fight the power!"

Oh, because Claire would have to sit around looking as useless as she is. And as long as I'm bashing her, can we call out Bennet's very bad lie from a previous episode about her really liking Brown. The girl's lucky she has a GED... hell, she's lucky that she's able to feed herself without assistance... and she really liked the Ivy League university??? Who would have a chance at Brown and end up at Costa Verde Community College? Oh, I forgot, they were never going to actually send her to any college because that might give a character a vague semblance of a real life. Just like they had her get a job this week, never work there and have to go on the run all in 20 minutes.

We can't have that. People with lives and jobs??? How will we free them up to go fight evil in unplanned ways? Bennet just talked about Claire going to college because the writers wanted their precious HRG to be a hard ass. Because god forbid a character on this show express a legitimate concern intelligently and have any other character listen to them!

In the wonderful world of Sylar, he discovers that he's actually Gabriel Luthor... damn that would have been just as plausible and way more interesting than most of the stuff on this show... when he meets his dad. His dad's name is... um... uh... John Glover from Smallville. Maybe they should learn to do basic things on this show like... Name Your Characters! And Daddy Sylar doesn't count as a name! Am I the only one not buying power stealing through murder as a biological trait? That's like saying... well, the dad I never met really liked Hugo Boss, so I do too. And as for Sylar's decision to let dear old dad (who just tried to mutilate him!) live continues to hint that he'll someday be one of the good guys... who am I kidding, he'll continue to flirt between good and bad forever. Just like every character on the show will never evolve or act consistently ever.

It's pure and utter nonsense every week. Here's hoping half the characters die permanently next week. Crappy show, you truly deserve my first ---

Final score: F

No comments:

Post a Comment