Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Circling the Drain

Heroes: Building 26
Season 3, Episode 16

I suppose something has to be said for being consistent with your approach. No matter how many people complain, no matter how far the ratings plummet and no matter how many times they ignore the trappings of common sense, this show keeps bashing its head against the metal wall. And that's the most positive thing I've been able to say about Heroes in more than 20 months. They are consistent in their suck. As always, there's spoilers below the cut. Not that it matters. Think of the most repetitive and stupid thing the characters could do. That's what they did.

This morning I was considering having a few things to say in praise of this week's episode. Then I talked to Billy for 15 seconds and remembered that just because something seems only sorta sucky when you aren't really paying attention doesn't mean it isn't mostly sucky if you think about it for a minute. Thanks, Billy, ya helped me dodge a bullet there.

Hiro was the same petulant child with a delusion of grandeur that he is every week. I must admit that I try not to pay attention to Hiro and Ando's scenes anymore. The rantings of destiny and managing to feeling petty that Ando might get to do something good, but mostly pointless before he could. Every so often I hear him yell "Ya Ti" and cringe... as expected, Hiro's moronic plot of showing up and saying, "No, you must not do this. You are evil. I am supercool and only express myself using the most extreme terms possible." And it works mostly because of the bad guy, in this case a man pressuring a woman to marry him, giving up. That this plot involves a man knocking Ando out with a frying pan and carrying him off cavewoman style is at least left off screen... if only it was left out of the script.

The wonderful Moira Kelly shows us all how far she's fallen from her glory days (see The Cutting Edge) by guest starring as a woman who threatens to shut down Nathan's program. She yells this at him and a chained Tracy. Rather than being glad someone is going to save her, Tracy gets really bitchy, escapes, realizes they are letting her escape and STILL kills a man right in front of the woman who was just talking about getting her released because... um... she's really bitchy.

Oh! Hey, did you realize that four people sitting in an office somewhere can simultaneously monitor every traffic and security camera in the continental United States, running facial recognition software on hundreds of millions of people every second just to find Sylar driving in a car and Claire in a parking lot. Gotta love that Patriot Act and the suspension of reality... I mean suspension of disbelief... I guess.

I could blame the characters for being so stupid, but can I really hold it against them that they are written by morons? This episode involves Claire meeting Aquaboy, formulating a plan to escape the two aisle comic shop from her father (who luckily doesn't hear her talking when standing 17 inches away from her) that basically amounts to, "Hey, look over there! Run!" Then she takes Aquaboy home to live in her closet. Hmm, I guess you could make this stuff up.

The mysterious Rebel, that is sending out messages in a rather Oracle-like role, is a nice mystery. But the fact that their clues and leads are being executed by people like Claire make them seem stupider than they are. By the way, is their any chance that Rebel's last name isn't Petrelli? Nope, didn't think so.

This show is in serious danger of bursting past the level where I therapeutically bash it to becoming just a pain to rant against the same illogical decision and patched-together plots week after week. And I didn't even mention Sylar turning on a radio in the middle of "Psycho Killer." Yeah, that happened.

Final score: .5 stars out of 5, just because I liked the like "Okay, technically I am a serial killer."

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