Showing posts with label Retro. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Retro. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Billy's Favorite (SCI FI) Retro Game! (Part 9 of 200)
Battlestar Week marches forward towards it's inevitable conclusion: the end of Battlestar Galactica. I had promised to do a "favorite SCI FI retro game" to fill a scheduling gap in our week, but then I though about the absurdity of doing something of that sort. Not because it is hard to do, quite the opposite, it's far too easy! A vast majority of video games are based on a science fiction theme. Despite the field being wide open to pick a sci-fi game, I was wracked with a dilemma of which to do! I looked back to see if there were any BSG games created and decided that it would be too difficult to hunt down a copy of the Battlestar Xbox game.Stuck at an impasse I decided to jump ahead to the Super Nintendo era and speak of a very special game. Literally one of my top five favorite games. One that is inarguably rooted in science fiction and while it focuses on time travel as a main theme, it still has killer robots(!) and the entire destruction of mankind. So, what is this game? If you have not already guessed it's the seminal RPG favorite: Chrono Trigger!
Chrono Trigger is the brainchild of Dragonball creator Akira Toriyama and Final Fantasy papa Hinorobu Sakaguchi. It tells the story of Crono, a lively(and mute!) young fella who is caught up in a time-spanning adventure when his new friend Marle is shot back in time 400 years while using an invention created by his friend Lucca.
Crono, being the honorable lad that he is, jumps in right behind Marle. Thinking of only saving the girl(and maybe getting a little sumthin' sumthin' after) he lands in the year 600 AD ready to step all over every goddamn butterfly he finds.
Along the way Crono, Marle and Lucca run into a knightly frog named Frog and a badass robot named Robo. Yeah, not much imagination in that bunch. Robo hails from the year 2300 AD, where the world has been destroyed by Lavos. Lavos emerged from the ground one day in 1999 and pretty much wiped out the human race(just like the Cylons did to the colonists! eh, eh? oh...forget it). Crono and company make it their goal to decipher where and when Lavos first appeared on the planet and stop him from wrecking the place.
One of the great things about Chrono Trigger is that you can beat the game at several points along the way. Depending on when you beat the game you can actually see different endings. Some of the endings only have small changes, some are huge(beat the game at a early point of prehistoria and the present will be filled with anthropomorphic dinosaurs!). One of the hardest and most interesting endings is achieved if you beat the game as soon as you gain the ability to use Lucca's machine. It's actually a developers room where you can chat with people based on the creators of the game.
It's pretty sweet to be able to jump forward and backward in time, do something at one time period and actually see the results in another. Many of the side quests involved doing just that and it was a great incentive to do them. Usually I ignore the side quests but with the time travel component I readily searched out every single last one.
I would be remiss in my duties as a video game geek if I didn't GUSH about the music in this game. Composed by Nobuo Uematsu, the composer behind most of the Final Fantasy music, the music is simply fantastic. Classic themes that I could listen to forever. Despite being in midi format these songs are spectacular. Check these out:
Robo's Theme
Frog's Theme
I honestly could ramble forever about this game. But I won't. I will say this, it's out on Nintendo DS...right now. Buy it!
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Monday, March 16, 2009
All Of This Has Happened Before, Crappily, And All Of This Will Happen Again
I think anyone who reads this site (hi mom! Just kidding, she wouldn't even read this stuff) knows that I am smitten with stories of killer robots. Hell, just robots. I grew up with a healthy diet of science fiction television and movies. Sure, it's geeky, but who cares. In the summer of 1997 I happened upon a television program being played on Sci Fi Channel. I didn't know what it was(oh the dark days before digital cable could tell us instantly what we were viewing) but I did know that it had robots. Shiny robots with very familiar red eyes. Of course those eyes were very reminiscent of KITT from one of my favorite television shows Knight Rider. And while KITT isn't exactly a robot, he was damned cool, so I continued to watch.
What I ended up watching was ridiculous by even my standards. Shiny robots on 1980s Earth. Riding in a taxi cab. It was Galactica 1980, the spin off series to the original Battlestar Galactica and it was awful. So awful, in fact that it drove me to avoid anything with the name Battlestar Galactica for many, many years. That includes the new series. I'll explain more about that later this week in my new series retrospective, but first lets take a look back at the series that started it all!
Battlestar Galactica was created by Glen Larson and there is a reason that KITT and the Cylon shared the same eyes, the two series were created by him. I love, love, loved Knight Rider but could not muster the same love for BSG.Coming a year after Star Wars Battlestar Galactica has a more space age-y feel. The ships all fire lasers, there are alien insects and humans have randomly colonized planets far from the colonies(so that we can randomly happen upon guest stars, you see). You can tell that the creators of the new series must have loved this old series, warts and all, because
they kept so much of it. Names, themes, hell even most of the ships(including the Galactica herself) for the most part keep the same basic looks from this series. In particular the Viper ships are almost exactly the same. It's a great design, one of the few that this series had. Considering the horrible clothing that the colonists wore, I'm frankly surprised that the Vipers were as good looking as they ended up being.As someone coming from the new series to the old series it's an odd viewing experience. The names are all the same and the main plot is essentially the same, but there are some noticeable differences and gender changes. Yes, yes, Starbuck is a dude. When the new series came on the air that was what most people were complaining about. Starbuck was originally a man, played by Dirk Benedict. Benedict you might recall from The A-Team(another 80s fave of mine). Here he is playing almost the exact character he would play in that later show, Starbuck is a ladykilling shyster. He's not the most deep character in this show, but he's practically the only one worth watching.
Richard Hatch, recently seen in the new series as Vice President Tom Zarek, plays Apollo in the original. Apollo is a good son with no unresolved daddy issues, unlike the new Apollo. Apollo does have one other huge difference between him and the new Apollo, original recipe Apollo has an adopted son: Boxy.
You might remember Boxy in the new series as the kid who Boomer befriends in the miniseries. He only appeared in a couple of other episodes and then only in tiny cameo appearances. Thank the Gods. Boxy in the original series is one of the worst aspects(right up there with atrocious costumes, terrible acting and feeling like a Star Trek rip-off). He's the cliche cute kid who shows up at inopportune times to throw the main characters into peril or get into peril himself thus inciting the plot. He's annoying, he's precocious, he's got a Godsdamned robot dog. One that will forever give me nightmares.
In the original BSG dogs(or in Battlestar speak, Daggits) apparently died out during the Cylon attack. Boxy desperately wants a daggit, so Apollo has a robot daggit made for him. Muffit. Yeah. It's stupid looking and makes obnoxious noises. Muffit is the only thing more annoying than Boxy. Why? Well, when boxy isn't running off doing something to incite the plot, Muffit is.The first episode of the series has the colonials on a casino planet. Starbuck is transfixed by a stripper/singer alien and wonders aloud that they could make a ton of money if they could just get her on the "star circuit." Yes, the entire human race has just been decimated and THIS is what Starbuck is worrying about. Oh Boy. Plus the stripper/singer alien looks like THIS.
A face only a mother could love.
Did I mention that the Cylons were created by humanoid insects? Yeah.
All in all, I can thank Glen Larson for creating this show simply for one reason. It was the spark that led Ron Moore to create the new BSG which I feel is one of the greatest science fiction stories of all time. But the original series? Not worth your time.
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Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Billy's Favorite (Comic Book!) Retro Games! (Part 8 of 200)
It's Watchmen week and this video game dork must don the comic book geek hat to bring you some fave retro games...with a TWIST! Comic book related games! Today? Perennial favorite Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Arcade Game!That's right. Not the arcade original, the NES port of the arcade game. When I was a kid I and all my TMNT/video game obsessed chums thought that this game really WAS a sequel to the awful first NES game. Of course it's not. The arcade game was made by a different team within Ultra Games/Konami and came out in the arcades a little bit later than TMNT.
As kids we spent many quarters on the arcade cabinet whenever we saw it. It fun and had beautiful graphics. For kids weened on the Nintendo Entertainment System, TMNT: The Arcade Game was like a dream. Our favorite cartoon come to video game life.
So, of course when we heard that the game was being ported to the NES we were ecstatic. Many, many things could go wrong porting such a vibrant game to the 8-bit system and to be honest, the graphics did take a big hit.
It went from THIS:
To This:
For an NES game it doesn't look too bad, but comparatively... whoo boy. What a difference.
Now, Donatello looks super lonely in the NES photo and one of the reasons for that is another arcade-to-NES tradeoff. The arcade version had four player co-operative game play. The NES didn't. I know, sucks, right. But don't fret, the game still included two player simultaneous gameplay.
It's not all bad news for the NES version. One of the best reasons to play the home console version is that nearly all of the levels were lengthened for the NES. Yes, Konami was polite enough to make the game longer! Not to mention the addition of an entirely new level: Snowfield
Apparently Shredder took time out of his plan to kidnap Master Splinter and created a weather control device and for one level he freezes New York City and yep, that's a mutant polar bear wearing a leather jacket. That ALONE makes this game worth playing. Man, things were so cool in the late 80s/early 90s.
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Friday, February 27, 2009
Billy's Favorite Retro Games! (Part 7 of 200)
The Oscars are still fresh in my mind, what with Mickey Roarke being nominated(but denied the win by Sean Penn) for his turn as Randy "The Ram" in the movie The Wrestler. There's a great scene in the middle of the film where Randy plays a fictional old-school NES brawler, Wrestle Jam, starring The Ram himself(Also mentioned in the scene is Call of Duty 4 which, considering how long it will probably take me to reach 200, will be a featured retro game sometime in the next decade). This "game" was very reminiscent of one of my absolute FAVORITE retro games: PRO WRESTLING!Pro Wrestling was one of Nintendo's NES original sports titles like Ice Hockey, Tennis, and Golf. And much like those games it followed the most unoriginal naming scheme ever. Thankfully that's a small concern about this game as it has some crazy surreal things that can happen in it. You start by choosing your favorite wrestler. This is standard operating procedure in any fighting game. This game seems to capture the 80s WWF feel wonderfully with it's eclectic(and in some cases mildly racist) roster of pugilists.
Kin Corn Karn, King Slender, and my favorite Starman. Not to be confused with either the comic book or movie of the same name, Starman gets his name from the fact that he wears a pink jumpsuit and mask with a giant purple star on it. You might think that Starman would be a big puss, but he is totally bad ass. Using his pink tights as a way to lure unsuspecting wrestlers to their doom!
The only other wrestler who can potentially match up to the awesomeness of Starman is The Amazon. Why? Well, because The Amazon is...uh, well, he's the creature from the black lagoon, actually. I don't know if this guy is wearing a costume or not, but one of his special moves is to bite the fuck out of his opponent's face. If he's wearing a costume, that's dedication.
Being an NES game it's got a limited move set that consists mostly of punch and kick. You can jump off the turnstile and bounce on the ropes as well as leave the ring. Don't expect any crazy weapons though(well, aside from The Amazon's pearly whites), this was the early NES days, I'm surprised that they had space on the cartridge for spectators let alone extra kilobytes for a folding chair.Now, one of the things that this game is famous(or infamous, rather) for, aside from Starman being awesome like a possum, is the horribly great Engrish translation. Win the big championship match and you get this:
A winner is you. It's certainly up there in the annals of bad translations. It's not quite an "I feel asleep" or "All your base" but it's enough to endear me to this horrible, horrible, awesome game.
You my boy Starman! You my boy!
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Thursday, February 12, 2009
Billy's Favorite Retro Games! (Part 6 of 200)
The Magic Kingdom? Happiest place on earthTM, right? Yeah, sure, if you've never played Adventures in the Magic Kingdom before.
That's right, a NES cart from 1990 can easily substitute a trip to DisneyWorld...
Adventures in the Magic Kingdom is a Nintendo Entertainment System game developed by Capcom that follows the exploits of...well...YOU! Provided your name is less than eight letters long(sorry Archibald!) and you aren't female. It was the 8-bit era, so I suspect that it was considered too difficult or space intensive to program a female avatar, but they could have dropped some of those name letters to save some space! Come on, only three letters are needed, everyone knows you always brand your character and highscores in games with the classic three letter combo A-S-S.
Anyways, the goal of the game is to save the Magic Kingdom from missing the bi-hourly main street parade. It seems that Mickey in his infinite wisdom has forgotten the main gate key in Cinderalla Castle. Well, Gawrsh, Mickey. Just go get the damn key. Not so fast, apparently Cinderella Castle has more security than Guantanamo Bay. Mickey informs you that there are SIX keys needed to open the castle door.
Mickey, being the twisted monarch of the DisneyWorld, commands you to find a retrieve the keys. What he does not tell you to do is wear an outfit made entirely of khaki, but sadly you have no choice in the matter. Your character looks like Indiana Jones on laundry day with a big ass fedora.So how does the heroic ASS save the Magic Kingdom from the shame of NO THREE O'CLOCK PARADE?! Well, by riding the rides of course! Autopia(or whatever the hell Disney is calling it these days) becomes a Bump 'N Jump clone, The Haunted Mansion and Pirates of the Caribbean become totally awesome(and hard as balls) action platformers, Big Thunder becomes a multi-track runaway train and Space Mountain? It becomes a GODDAMNED TEN MINUTE QUICK TIME EVENT! If you think those QTE's are annoying now, just imagine them in the awesome low-fidelity of the NES.
And check out this totally badass virtual representation of the Magic Kingdom.
Green grass everywhere! Who knew Disney were such conservationists!
Imagine my surprise when I actually finally made it to the illustrious Magic Kingdom some years after playing this game and there were no actual pirates holding wenches hostage and the ghosts were cheesy holograms. Don't even get me started on Autopia.
Thankfully despite these disappointments until someone creates EPCOT Center Virtual Beers Around The World DisneyWorld still wins in the end.
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Monday, February 2, 2009
Six More Weeks Of Winter?
Punxsutawney Phil is one of the hallmarks of Pennsylvania. Once a year the most famous groundhog in Pennsylvania is forcibly exhumed from his stump at Gobbler's Knob and predicts whether or not we will have six more weeks of winter. Though I wouldn't say that Phil is the "hardest" working hog in the business(That'd be his brother, Gus, Pennsylvania lottery spokes-hog), but he is the only one to have a movie framed around his annual hullabaloo: Harold Ramis's 1993 classic, Groundhog Day!
Bill Murray stars as the acerbic Pittsburgh(yeah, way to go Stillers!) weatherman Phil Connors who has big dreams of predicting the weather on a major network. Phil just cannot stand doing local puff pieces because he thinks he's above them. Unfortunately for Phil it's Groundhog Day and the station has tasked him with covering the venerable holiday.
Phil, of course, is nonplussed by this. I mean, can you blame him? His name is Phil and he has to cover a story about a groundhog named Phil. Can you say awkward? Of course, Phil doesn't have the greatest time covering the festivities and to make matters worse a snow storm(which he DIDN'T predict) is descending on the town making it impossible to leave Punxsutawney.
Phil goes to bed that evening hoping to escape the Pennsylvania hamlet but when he wakes up he's reliving the same day over again! At first Phil is upset and shocked at this predicament, he tries to convince his producer Rita(Andie MacDowell) that he's reliving the same day. But suitably no one believes him.
After he realizes that nothing he does matters, Phil decides to take advantage of his situation. He becomes familiar with the town and it's citizens, but then he sets his sights on the one thing he can't seem to get: Rita.
Though he tries valiantly to learn everything about Rita and pretend that he loves the very same things he is unable to seal the deal. Ramis does a fantastic job of hinting at just how many times Phil has looped through the day without actually showing all of them, giving the audience just a taste of the day replaying without driving us insane along with Phil.
After not being able to bed Rita, Phil snaps and begins an exercise in suicide. Killing himself numerous times, everyday Phil wakes up from the dead as if nothing has actually happened. Eventually Phil decides to be himself and try to woo Rita without trying to bed her. It's when this happens that Phil starts to change. He becomes less self absorbed and generally nicer to everyone. He begins to better himself and learn new things.
Ramis handles the third act of the film with a deft hand, keeping it humorous but also giving it an emotional heft when Phil becomes a hero and saves numerous people throughout the town. Murray is wonderful, going from serious to funny in a moments notice without it ruining the flow of the film. It's no wonder that Murray would find work years later in such serious works as Lost In Translation and while he's still primarily a comedic actor, it's nice to see his flexibility in this film and others.
Groundhog Day is a funny and sometimes moving classic '90s comedy. Although this type of story has been done many times since(The X-Files and Stargate SG-1 immediately come to mind), Groundhog Day remains as engaging and hilarious as it was the day it was released. Besides, what other movie can claim to have BOTH Andie MacDowell and Chris Elliot in starring roles and make them tolerable? That's right. No other movie.
Gus the groundhog says: "Though Groundhog Day focuses on my obnoxious brother's holiday, it's STILL the bee's knees!"
You heard it here, folks. Gus likes it. It's a winner.
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Thursday, January 29, 2009
Billy's Favorite Retro Games (Part 2 of 200)
Billy's Favorite Retro Games (Part 2 of 200)Originally written 9/1/06
This is presented here for completion.
1985 has GOT to be one of my favorite years. Just think about it: Mr Belvedere, Nintendo, Back to the friggin' Future, Macgyver, Rambo: First Blood Part 2 (the greatest fucking movie title of the 80s), Rocky 4 and most importantly... The Goonies (ok, maybe not MOST importantly, but most importantly to THIS post).
So, once we all got our hands on the majesty of the NES, us Goonies fanatics were of course interested in playin
g the game adaptation of our beloved movie. Konami was there of course to show us all why liscensed video games are usually crap with Goonies 2. Now, it didn't take a genius to realize that we had not gotten to play original Goonies game, hell even the explanation that the game was a sequel to the movie doesn't really hold any water because I don't recall Mikey befriending a mermaid in the fucking movie. No...we just...got the shaft. "The Shaft" is defined as the feeling we Western Gamers get whenever we hear of something really cool in Japan, it's true look it up.So flash forward to 2004, I was checking out a CD I had acquired from a disreputable fellow employee which included nearly every NES game produced. Lo and behold...the elusive NES Goonies was on this disc!
I could not wait to play it, and play it I did. The first thing, and let's be honest here, the only reason this game is on this list is because of one simple reason: Cyndi Lauper's The Goonies R Good Enough in MIDI ! Don't believe me? Hit that link and listen for yourself. Don't worry, I'll wait.
...
Now tell me that wasn't badass. Shut up, it totally was!
The gameplay is basic platforming from the 80s, you play as Mikey who decides to take "his time, his time down here" to save his friends from the Fratelli's. Apparently the Fratelli clan is much larger than the movie makes them appear because everytime you kill one of these bastards they keep coming back. In addition to evil mobsters you also have to confront mice and ghosts. I don't recall mice or ghosts in the movie, but those tunnels were littered with dead pirates, so who knows.
So...Yes. I love the Goonies game. I love digital synthesized versions of Cyndi Lauper, and I LOVE good (or is that bad) Engrish...
Congratulation indeed.
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